Christmas is once again upon us, and
accordingly, so too is the Christmas party season. It has been a full year since the last Christmas season, so
here are just a few little tips and reminders of what is expected of you around
this time of year.
DO:
Bring a host/hostess gift of a nice cabernet sauvignon, pinot grigio, or
delicious dessert treats, particularly if attending a Christmas Party on, say
for example, December 15th.
A little bubbly is also a favourable gift, and will ensure you are
granted entrance into the host’s home, rather than being forced to view the
good times from the outside of a frosty window.
DON’T: Bring fruitcake.
Nobody likes fruitcake. How
fruitcake became associated with Christmas, I’ll never know. If you bring fruitcake to my party,
don’t be surprised if I throw it at your windshield as I chase you off my
property. The same applies to a
Jello mold. Don’t put shit in my
Jello!
DO:
Say “Merry Christmas”. It’s
Christmas time, you’re at a Christmas Party, so just say it. Come on, say it! SAY IT!!
DON’T: Say “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings”, simply to be
politically correct. I’m not
offended if someone says “Happy Hanukkah” in my presence, and if anyone is
offended if I say “Merry Christmas”, well that’s their problem. We’re all entitled to our own beliefs
and traditions, so don’t buckle under an imaginary and ridiculous pressure.
DO:
Cut down a real tree. This
is the only time of year when those greeny tree hugger types aren’t going to
get all over you for that. And who
says it has to be a fir or spruce?
I work for a land developer, and we have lots of nice oak, maple and
butternut trees that we’d be more than happy to allow you to cut down at no
charge, that would make a nice alternative for those looking for something a
little different. And once you get
it home and decorate it, call it what it is… a Christmas Tree. Santa does not put gifts under a
“Holiday Tree”.
DON’T: Drink too much at the office Christmas Party. Nowadays everybody has a Facebook or
Twitter account, and a cell phone that takes photos and videos. Your office enemies will be all too
happy to post photos of you embarrassing yourself all over the internet for all
to see. Unfortunately, long gone
are the days when you could Zerox your bare ass and get away with it.
DO:
Spike the egg nog. Forget
what I just said about not drinking too much at the Christmas Party. You only live once, and think about how
boring life would be if you didn’t have a few embarrassing moments to look back
on.
DON’T: Forget how lucky you are to have what you have both in terms
of physical possessions, and more importantly, loved ones, as there is always
someone less fortunate out there that would gladly trade places with you. Remember the good times with those who
are no longer here, and make new memories with those that are.
DO:
Prepare yourself to gain a few pounds over the next few weeks. It’s going to happen whether you like
it or not, so just give in and let it happen. Go find a nice pair of elastic waistband pants, lose the
belt altogether, and dig in. There
will be plenty of snow in January that you can shovel to work off those few
extra pounds.
DON’T: Drink and drive.
You know better than that.
Don’t be an idiot. Just
plan ahead, assign a designated driver, or take a taxi. Nothing dampens the Christmas spirit
like having a friend or family member killed as the result of your bad
decision.
DO:
Finish your Christmas shopping early to avoid the crowds. I fail at this one every year. I always tell myself that “next year
will be different”, but it never is.
DON’T: Bug me and ask why I haven’t written a blog post in a month,
otherwise you get posts like this, which are barely entertaining at all, but at
least buy me a little time to think of something a little more interesting.
DO:
Enjoy the season, and have a very Merry Christmas!! J
Fun post! "Remember the good times with those who are no longer here, and make new memories with those that are" is AWESOME advice! Thanks!
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